kingofwaste | 13th Short - [Voice/Written/Action]

[Voice]

Alright folks, it’s that time again! Oswald the Lucky Rabbit here, reportin’ to you live with the new partner list for Project Hydra Social! And for all you New Feathers out there, Hydra Social is a penpal initiative started by the S.O.S. Brigade. You write a letter to your partner and in no time, that partner will be a pal! Simple as that. I added some new folks and changed everything up a bit, but participants are picked at random so everyone be sure to check the list!

[The following has been scribbled down in an untidy, but still readable handwriting. Usernames are not actually included in the list, of course.]

Walter Delques (

blackteriques) + Utena Tenjou (

revolutionarygirl)
Leon (

fellpool) + Ayumu (

sundead)
Yotsuba Koiwai (

rollypolyclover) + James Norrington (

abidinglaw)
Yukio Okumura (

sharpness) + Dist the Runny (

its_rose_damnit)
Kotarou Inugami (

dontforget) + Ling Yao (

avaricious)
Fuuko Ibuki (

starfishlovesyou) + Pao-lin (

i_am_not_cute)
Yuriko Omega (

areyoumyfriend) + Yoh Asakura (

mikanphones)
Asbel Lhant (

drawnbythesword) + Rudy Roughnight (

ofwesternwinds)
Roku (

flameoroku) + Hiccup (

dragoneer)
Kazuma Kval (

moezama) + Gracia Hughes (

contentedly)
Yui (

bigsiskonagi) + Gilbert Nightray (

chainedraven)
Orphen (

trollkiller) + Caius Qualls (

accepted)
Claude C. Kenny (

mirrorblade) + Ami Mizuno (

geniustheveil)
Precis F. Neumann (

rocketpunch) + Isamu (

musubi)
Cecilia (

teardropshaman) + Frey Falenas (

falenandawn)
Scully (

poorqueequeg) + Raven (

crisisrain)
Reimu Hakurei (

illusionarymoon) + Tear Grants (

seleniahymn)
Kratos Aurion (

shiningbinds) + Aang (

savedtheworld)
Jeb Parmalee (

sketchingideals) + Leonardo (

fearless_leader)
Kain Highwind (

dragoon_pride) + Atsuro Kihara (

ctrlaltdemons)
Vincent Valentine (

thenightmarebegins) + Vivi Nefertari (

alabastajewel)
Jay The Unseen (

unseenspy) + Usagi Tsukino (

lunas)
Saleh (

mountain_sage) + Molly Carpenter (

talentsgirl)
Asch the Bloody (

dissonates) + Grune (

lostinmyway)
Edward Elric (

automailed) + Emil (

snowwhiteproject)
Winry Rockbell (

installing) + Luke (

hisapprentice)
Shiemi Moriyama (

shamelessness) + Kyon (

menial)
Haruhi Suzumiya (

godbent) + Marceline (the Vampire Queen) (

donteatmyfries)
Elicia Hughes (

asobouyo) + Japan (

miniaturization)
Sayo (

memoryboxes) + Minato Arisato (

emp3thy)
Rin Okumura (

rashness) + Vincent Nightray (

keepitinthefamily)
Henry Wellard (

bravelad) + Leonhardt (

eyesofstrength)
Keiichi Maebara (

breaks_destiny) + Sokka (

markofthewise)
Phoenix Ikki (

uccellodifuoco) + Greg Bleakman (

vor)
Anise Tatlin (

failguardian) + Beast (

tailasoldastime)
Amelia (

thedicearecast) + Robert Hastings (

semper_cogitans)
Aoba Kuronuma (

penetrated) + Selphie Tilmitt (

selphie_t)
Yuan (

fortunefail) + Kaname Tanuma (

kindaqueer)
Dhaos (

whatdeheckisthat) + Nagisa Furukawa (

cherishedmiracle)
Helios (

folklorist) + Prince Reyson (

heartofahawk)
Yun (

tolivefortoday) + Silver (

tsunsandsteals)
Hayate Ayasaki (

whimsicalwinds) + Hartia (

notshrimpman)

I’ll bet everyone who ain’t on this list is gonna be jealous of you guys, but don’t worry! I also accept sign-ups, so if you’re itchin’ to join in, just let me know and I’ll make it happen.

[Written / Filtered to certain characters]

[Very shortly afterwards, several residents will receive a private note in their journals. It’s clearly directed to them and no other characters can see it, but the message will read the same for everyone.]

Dear Hydra Social participant,

It has come to my attention that you have not gotten in touch with your penpal yet. Either that, or you haven’t been convincing enough to get your pal to return your letters. This is your first warning. Kindly get to that as soon as possible, or there will be consequences. I am not bluffing. Don’t think I won’t hunt you down, because I will. You’ll never see me coming, either. You won’t know I’m hassling you until it’s too late. Besides, you are hurting your pal’s feelings. Shame on you.

Kind regards,
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
Unofficial Second Senior Undersecretary of the S.O.S. Brigade.
Most Famous Cartoon Rabbit.

[The characters who received this message are: Sheimi, Winry, Isamu, Sokka, Saleh, Ami, Gilbert, Keiichi, Leonhardt, Caius, and the Beast.]

[Action]

[Characters who enter the grocery store may notice something peculiar over the next few days. That is, a pair of black rabbit ears is sticking out of a barrel filled with apples.

Oswald has begun his crusade to hunt down the repeat offenders and hassle them until they cave. He had the brilliant notion that even socially awkward shut-ins need to visit the store for food, so that’s where he’s waiting. With this perfect hiding place, they won’t see him until it’s too late.

The residents he’s waiting for are Vincent Valentine, Kazuma Kval and Jay the Unseen, but anyone else is free to catch him there too.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you think so then you can have mine.

[fsdkjdfs]

That ain't how the project works!

Why not? Isn't it about meeting people and make friends? Or do you not want friends?

[Turning this against you, Oswald.]

You tell us to go and make friends but won't make friends yourself with them if we offer them to you, that doesn't set a good example.

[fslkjfdslkjfd outrageous!]

Who says I ain't willing to make friends with 'm, huh? Sure, I'll write to this guy, but then you oughta do the same!

The difference between you and me is that I'm not willing to make friends.

[A pause.]

Though if you would write to at least 1/4 of the people in your list then I would have to accept your investment and write to him as well.

Wh- You're kidding! That's like a hundred people! [More like twenty, but Oswald likes to exaggerate.] How is that fair?!

Edited (I can count really) 2012-06-12 13:00 (UTC)

Well, you organize this for people to meet new people and make friends, don't you? How is it fair that we hog all those people and leave no one for you? But if you don't want friends and don't want to do at least that, I suppose we don't have to do so either if we don't want friends.

Aw, c'mon, that just ain't fair! I'll have you know, I have plenty of friends already, and if you've got a problem with that, you should take it up with the big boss of the S.O.S. Brigade! Haruhi's the one who came up with all this in the first place.

I have plenty of friends already as well, and many of the people in that list probably have many friends already. But there you are, demanding that we make even more friends without being willing yourself to set an example. Hypocrite.

[He figured Haruhi had something to do since it was from the Brigade but...]

She may have come up with the idea but you are the one running it. So complains have to go to you, if you're not capable of handling those or running the project properly you should step down from it and let someone else do it. Someone willing to do more besides demanding people to do what they aren't going to do.

I ain't a hypocrite and I'm running the project just fine! I just don't think it's fair that you're askin' me to write to a hundred people at once. How about I just write to you instead, huh? An eye for an eye.

It's not a hundred people, it's twenty at most but if that's too much I'll accept if you write to at least ten people.

[That eye for an eye doesn't work for him.]

An eye for an eye, you say? You're asking a lot of people to write to other people and you think that you writing to just one person would be "an eye for an eye" type of deal? It doesn't even begin to cover it. Besides you just now changed people's partners so now we have to write to two people rather than just one and if you keep this up I can see us ending with ten partners without trouble. You want us to be able to do that when you can't or don't care enough to do it yourself?

Hey, bub, look at this. This page right here. See all these people replying, here? That's gotta be about twenty of 'm, and I'm talking to every single one. Don't just go around sayin' I won't talk to that many people when I'm doing it right now! You think if I didn't care, I'd be doin' a big project like this in the first place?

Talking, but not writing letters to them. There's a difference in effort between those two.

How is that different? And anyway, if you'd just asked, I woulda told you that you don't have to write letters to your penpal. Ya can use the journals too, in any way you want.

To begin with, either you use the journals for this thing or there's no way to do this joke of a project. We don't have a mailing system after all, you should have worried about that before you started this, because that's the point of a "penpal", writing letters. If you don't have to write letters then what's the point of a penpal?

And what if I don't want to write nor talk? Isn't that an option?

The point of a penpal ain't to write letters, it's to stay in touch with each other. And 'sides, if you really do want to write a letter on a piece of paper, just deliver it to their house! Ya don't need a mail system to get a letter into someone's mailbox, ya know.

And if you don't wanna write or talk, I'll accept a game of charades. Just don't start with morse code or braille, because not everyone can understand that sorta thing.

People don't need this project to make friends either, you know. But I suppose that even if I said it in the simplest way possible you still wouldn't get it, one needs a brain for that and it's clear you lack one. At least one that can understand that no means no.