13th Short - [Voice/Written/Action]

[kingofwaste]

[Voice]

Alright folks, it’s that time again! Oswald the Lucky Rabbit here, reportin’ to you live with the new partner list for Project Hydra Social! And for all you New Feathers out there, Hydra Social is a penpal initiative started by the S.O.S. Brigade. You write a letter to your partner and in no time, that partner will be a pal! Simple as that. I added some new folks and changed everything up a bit, but participants are picked at random so everyone be sure to check the list!


[The following has been scribbled down in an untidy, but still readable handwriting. Usernames are not actually included in the list, of course.]

Walter Delques (blackteriques) + Utena Tenjou (revolutionarygirl)
Leon (fellpool) + Ayumu (sundead)
Yotsuba Koiwai (rollypolyclover) + James Norrington (abidinglaw)
Yukio Okumura (sharpness) + Dist the Runny (its_rose_damnit)
Kotarou Inugami (dontforget) + Ling Yao (avaricious)
Fuuko Ibuki (starfishlovesyou) + Pao-lin (i_am_not_cute)
Yuriko Omega (areyoumyfriend) + Yoh Asakura (mikanphones)
Asbel Lhant (drawnbythesword) + Rudy Roughnight (ofwesternwinds)
Roku (flameoroku) + Hiccup (dragoneer)
Kazuma Kval (moezama) + Gracia Hughes (contentedly)
Yui (bigsiskonagi) + Gilbert Nightray (chainedraven)
Orphen (trollkiller) + Caius Qualls (accepted)
Claude C. Kenny (mirrorblade) + Ami Mizuno (geniustheveil)
Precis F. Neumann (rocketpunch) + Isamu (musubi)
Cecilia (teardropshaman) + Frey Falenas (falenandawn)
Scully (poorqueequeg) + Raven (crisisrain)
Reimu Hakurei (illusionarymoon) + Tear Grants (seleniahymn)
Kratos Aurion (shiningbinds) + Aang (savedtheworld)
Jeb Parmalee (sketchingideals) + Leonardo (fearless_leader)
Kain Highwind (dragoon_pride) + Atsuro Kihara (ctrlaltdemons)
Vincent Valentine (thenightmarebegins) + Vivi Nefertari (alabastajewel)
Jay The Unseen (unseenspy) + Usagi Tsukino (lunas)
Saleh (mountain_sage) + Molly Carpenter (talentsgirl)
Asch the Bloody (dissonates) + Grune (lostinmyway)
Edward Elric (automailed) + Emil (snowwhiteproject)
Winry Rockbell (installing) + Luke (hisapprentice)
Shiemi Moriyama (shamelessness) + Kyon (menial)
Haruhi Suzumiya (godbent) + Marceline (the Vampire Queen) (donteatmyfries)
Elicia Hughes (asobouyo) + Japan (miniaturization)
Sayo (memoryboxes) + Minato Arisato (emp3thy)
Rin Okumura (rashness) + Vincent Nightray (keepitinthefamily)
Henry Wellard (bravelad) + Leonhardt (eyesofstrength)
Keiichi Maebara (breaks_destiny) + Sokka (markofthewise)
Phoenix Ikki (uccellodifuoco) + Greg Bleakman (vor)
Anise Tatlin (failguardian) + Beast (tailasoldastime)
Amelia (thedicearecast) + Robert Hastings (semper_cogitans)
Aoba Kuronuma (penetrated) + Selphie Tilmitt (selphie_t)
Yuan (fortunefail) + Kaname Tanuma (kindaqueer)
Dhaos (whatdeheckisthat) + Nagisa Furukawa (cherishedmiracle)
Helios (folklorist) + Prince Reyson (heartofahawk)
Yun (tolivefortoday) + Silver (tsunsandsteals)
Hayate Ayasaki (whimsicalwinds) + Hartia (notshrimpman)


I’ll bet everyone who ain’t on this list is gonna be jealous of you guys, but don’t worry! I also accept sign-ups, so if you’re itchin’ to join in, just let me know and I’ll make it happen.


[Written / Filtered to certain characters]

[Very shortly afterwards, several residents will receive a private note in their journals. It’s clearly directed to them and no other characters can see it, but the message will read the same for everyone.]

Dear Hydra Social participant,

It has come to my attention that you have not gotten in touch with your penpal yet. Either that, or you haven’t been convincing enough to get your pal to return your letters. This is your first warning. Kindly get to that as soon as possible, or there will be consequences. I am not bluffing. Don’t think I won’t hunt you down, because I will. You’ll never see me coming, either. You won’t know I’m hassling you until it’s too late. Besides, you are hurting your pal’s feelings. Shame on you.

Kind regards,
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.
Unofficial Second Senior Undersecretary of the S.O.S. Brigade.
Most Famous Cartoon Rabbit.

[The characters who received this message are: Sheimi, Winry, Isamu, Sokka, Saleh, Ami, Gilbert, Keiichi, Leonhardt, Caius, and the Beast.]


[Action]

[Characters who enter the grocery store may notice something peculiar over the next few days. That is, a pair of black rabbit ears is sticking out of a barrel filled with apples.

Oswald has begun his crusade to hunt down the repeat offenders and hassle them until they cave. He had the brilliant notion that even socially awkward shut-ins need to visit the store for food, so that’s where he’s waiting. With this perfect hiding place, they won’t see him until it’s too late.

The residents he’s waiting for are Vincent Valentine, Kazuma Kval and Jay the Unseen, but anyone else is free to catch him there too.]

Comments

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[The ears perk up at the sound of that voice. Oswald can see Jay through a tiny crack in the wood. This is it! He hops out of the barrel, sending apples flying all over the place.]

Ahah! I've got you now, Mr. Unseen!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[Welp, Mr. Unseen is pissed. His hands go right into his pockets as he glares.]

And what do you want?

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[He puffs himself up to seem as big and intimidating as possible. Literally. His chest just grew almost three sizes and he raises his fists threateningly, hopping from foot to foot.]

You still didn´t write to your penpal! The second warning means consequences, so c'mon! Put 'm up!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

Well now...

[Jay is quite tempted to poke that puffing belly and see if it'll pop like a balloon. But he'll wait.]

Are you really planning to fight me? If you've really done your research, you should know that that's not a good idea.

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[He keeps hopping around Jay, occasionally punching the air like a pro boxer.]

I ain't a fluffy bunnyrabbit either! And besides, I've got luck on my side!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

Luck? You'll need more than luck to get anywhere with me.

[Really, he is not in the mood to fight something with such a bravado.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

All bark and no bite, huh? Or maybe you're just scared!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[All right, that's it. After that taunt, Jay decides to give him a "bite." So he'll raise his foot and aim a kick towards the rabbit's belly.]

[Action] 1/2

[kingofwaste]

Oof! [Oswald flies backwards and bounces off the far wall, onto the floor, off the ceiling and finally back into the apple barrel. Bless his cartoony resistance to physical attacks!]

[Action] 2/2

[kingofwaste]

[He pokes his head out of the barrel again, looking posivitely frustrated.]

That was a cheap shot!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[And Jay laughs to himself at that. He actually wouldn't mind seeing that again.]

You're the one who said I was all bark and no bite.

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

Bite! Not kick! If you're gonna cheat, I will too! [He sits up in the pile of apples, picks one up in his hand and flings it at Jay.]

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[Jay ducks, letting the apple fly over his head. Then he picks up a different apple from the floor next to his feet and flings it back at Oswald.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[It hits Oswald square in the face with a loud, almost surreal 'doink'. He falls backwards, out of the barrel and onto the floor. Though, when he reappears from behind it, it's with new ammunition! Careful, Jay, there's a banana soaring your way as if it were a boomerang.]

Take that!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[Ouch. So the banana bounces off his face and then hits the floor. Well, that's fine. Jay picks up that banana and peels it, and tosses the peel towards Oswald's feet.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[Touché, Jay. Oswald was just about to take a step when the peel lands right where his feet would be placed. Predictably, he slips on it.]

W-whoooah! [He falls backwards, into a pile of peaches and sends those flying everywhere too. If he's lucky, some of them might hit Jay!]

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[Jay holds up his arms to shield himself from the flying peaches. Then he takes the opportunity to flee. Screw the groceries he was picking up; he'll come back for those later.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

Hey, wait!

[After a bit of stumbling and fumbling, he manages to cross the ocean of peaches that are rolling across the floor and darts out the door to chase after Jay. He's not giving up that easily!]

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[He's going to wish he gave up by the time Jay is through with him. Jay runs a few blocks down before he pauses. It's not enough to just get away from the silly rabbit. He needs to really detain him somehow.]

[He's looking around for any building to dive into, to look for some kind of weapon. Of course, the weapons shop. So Jay runs inside.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[Ohoh, Oswald's convinced he's got Jay cornered, now. He runs up to the door of the weapon shop, but instead of entering it, he pulls out a megaphone from cartoon hammerspace. Get ready for some deafening shouting while you're in there, Jay.]

Attention, Mr. Unseen! This is the Lucky Rabbit! I've got the place surrounded! Come out with your hands in the air!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

[Jay cringes, covering his ears while the shouting is going on. He's not coming out just yet; he still needs to find the perfect weapon. He's searching frantically all over the shop. Swords, nope...rifles, shotguns...what are those? Axes...tempting, but a little heavy. Eventually, he comes across a simple hammer and some nails. Well, looks like the hammer is the best he can find. So Jay picks it up and moves to the door, carefully coming out of the shop.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[Oswald lowers the megaphone again when he sees Jay exiting the shop, but he's still a little suspicious about this whole thing.]

You have the right to accept defeat! Any stunt you pull can and will be used against you, so watch it, pal!

[Action]

[unseenspy]

...And how am I supposed to "accept defeat," hmm?

[He taps his foot impatiently.]

[Action]

[kingofwaste]

[He raises an 'eyebrow', looking a little irked.] By sending a letter to your next penpal, how else? Geeeez!~

[Action]

[unseenspy]

No.

[He's giving you one last chance to back off.]